你的儿子，出生在那个悲惨的收容所，那里都是穷人、流浪汉和被遗弃的人。【未婚妈妈所需要承受的...】
Once, at least, I had to cry aloud, to let you know How dearly bought was the child, this boy who was my delight, and who now lies dead.
I shall never speak of them again.
For eleven years I have kept silence, and shall doon be dumb for evermore.
至少一次，我不得不大声哭出来，以让你知道这个死去的孩子对我来说有多珍贵，他是我所有快乐的源泉。
我将不会再提起那些苦难的日子。
过去的十一年，我保持了沉默，自此以后，这些也将会随我远去。
I had forgotten those dreadful hours, forgotten them in his simles and his voice, forgotten them in my happiness.
Now, when he is dead, the torment has come to life again, and I had, this once, to give it utterance.
在他的笑容、声音里和我拥有他的幸福里我已经忘记了那些可怕的时光。但现在他死了，这些苦难和折磨又再次回到我的生命里，这一次，我不得不说出来与人倾诉，缓解我内心的痛苦。
But I do not accuse you, only God, only God who is the author of such purposeless affliction.
Never did I repent the nights when I enjoyed your love, never did I cease to love you, or to bless the hour when you came into my life.
但对你我没有任何责怪，这些无缘无故的苦难都是拜上天所赐。
我从不后悔与你相处的那些时光，也从未停止爱你，或者说我感激你进入我生命的那些日子。
【爱从未停止，但造化弄人】
Our boy died yesterday, and you never know him.
His bright little personality has never come into the most fugitive contact with you, and your eyes have never rested on him.
我们的孩子昨天死去，而你从不知道他的存在。
这个小小的明亮少年跟你没有片刻接触，你的眼神在他身上也从未有片刻停留。
I did not wish to divide myself between you and him, and so I did not give myself to you, who were happy and independent of me.
But to boy who needed me, whom I had to nourish, whom I could kiss and fondle.
I seemed to have been healed of restless yearning for you.
我不愿在你和他之间把自己分成两半，所以我没有陪在你身边，因为你生活幸福且独立，完全不会依赖我。
这个孩子，他更需要我，需要我的养育，而我也可以亲吻他，爱抚他(而不像对着不爱我的你，只能远远观望)。
因为有这个孩子，我对你无尽的思念好像也得到了治愈。
【孩子是一个母亲的全部，治愈了所有的伤痛】
The doom seemed to have been lifted from me by the birth of this other you, who was truly my own.
这个孩子，是另一个你，完完全全属于我，命运好像对我高抬贵手。【拥有时是命运高抬贵手，失去时命运便是谋杀者。大概是因为爱得不可自拔，竟对他一点一丝责怪也无?】
One thing only-on your birthday I have always sent you abunch of white roses, like the roses you gave me after our first night of love.
Has it ever occured to you, During those ten or eleven years to ask yourself who sent them?
Have you ever recalled having given such roses to a girl? I do not know, and never shall know.
For me it was enough to send them to you out of darkness, enough once a year, to revive my own memory of that hour.
(因为有孩子的慰籍，我暂时停止了对你狂热的思念)仅仅为你做一件事，在你生日那天，我会送一束白玫瑰，跟我们第一晚欢愉之后你送给我那种玫瑰一样。
在过去的十年或者十一年，你可曾有一点点念头，问自己，送给你这束白玫瑰的人是谁?
你可曾想起你曾经送了这么一束白玫瑰给一个女孩?我不知道，并将永远不知道了。
但对我来说，穿过黑夜迷雾送这束花给你已是足够，每年一次，让我沉迷回忆中那段时光。
【他随手惠赠的一束白玫瑰，你就记了一生，也许只因为白玫瑰就是属于你的花语，送给暗恋爱慕的人，纯洁的爱。】
You never know our boy. I blame myself today for having hidden him from you, for you would have love him.
You have never seen him smile when he first opened his eyes after sleep, his dark eyes that were your eyes, the eyes with which he looked merrily forth at me and the world.
He was so bright, so lovable.
你从来不知道他的存在。此刻我后悔我把他藏起来，我想你如果知道他也会爱他的。
你从没看到睡醒后他第一次睁开眼睛的微笑，他的黑眼睛跟你一模一样，他曾用这双眼睛愉快的注视着我和这个世界。
他如此聪明，如此可爱。
【一个母亲对孩子无尽的爱，想到孩子全是明亮的色彩，这是黑暗迷雾中唯一的一抹亮色，但此刻也是无尽的绝望，失去他，已经失去所有，失去可以活下去的勇气。】
You will wonder how I could manage to give boy So costly an upbringing, how it was possible for me to provide for him an entry into this bright and cheerful life of the well-to-do.
Dear one, I am speaking to you from the darkness.
Uashamed, I will tell you.
Do not shrink from me, I sold myself. My friends, my lovers, were wealthy men.
They all became my grateful admires. They all loved me-except you, except you whom I loved.
你会奇怪我怎么会负担得起如此昂贵的抚养费用，我怎么能提供他如此富裕、明亮、精彩的生活。
亲爱的，在如此黑夜中，我将告诉你，没有任何羞愧的。请不要避开(看不起)我，为了给孩子优质生活我终是沦落风尘，我的朋友、我的情人，都是有钱人士。他们都拜倒在我的石榴裙下，为我着迷。他们都爱我除了你，我深爱的你。
【这大概是最无望的爱情了，世人爱我，唯独没有你，而我只爱你。不管生活如何污秽不堪，我也不愿我们之间的爱有任何施舍】
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